I'm having a mixed feeling right now.
Happy that I finally can have my own free time to do whatever I like,
Sad because I love being a student, I love having assignments to complete (which makes me feel satisfied and accomplished afterwards) and having a lecturer to look up to.
Days of a student are always less stressful compared to working adult anyway.
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Side track a bit!! Let's see what I can do after my internship..
Well, I will be starting School Of Theology in 10th March, which leaves me 1 month of freedom between.
I'll use this time to..:
- Prepare myself for S.O.T
- Get back to GYM ( omg you have no idea how much weight I gained aft I stopped gymming)
- Read at least 3 books
- Cook almost every meals.
Okay, now for other things....
Feeling rather weak nowadays..I'm talking about my walk with God. I know deep down in my heart I am .not abandoned, not left behind and that God is still here. But I'm feeling so dry, for the longest time.
What has separated me from the feeling.....?
I wish I knew the answer, and had the courage to change my surroundings.
All I know is, life without God's tangible love sucks. I don't feel whole, I don't feel joy. I don't even feel like a living creature. Life without God is as good as lifeless..it's suffocating and meaningless. I do not want to be stuck in this dry season...
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I'm scared yet pumped for S.O.T at the same time. I'm excited to have a deeper knowledge of my beloved God, but scared because........actually I am not sure either.
"No matter what, God I trust in You. Even if it is hard at times like now, when I cannot feel you, but I know You will never forsake me. I know You are sovereign over my sins, my pain, my struggles, my situation. You are still God, You still hear me and love me. This I know....and I love you, I thank You, for calling me your precious.
Who Am I that You Are mindful of me? That you hear me when I call? You are the King of universe, the One who created the universe, yet you are mindful of me. "
And with this, God answered me..with his loving and tender heart.
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